When I was in high school, I participated in the school
musical all four years.
My senior year I
was even lucky enough to have the lead in one of my favorites,
The Sound of
Music.
Although for me, the draw was
mainly the musicality of the show, I have to admit that I did enjoy the acting
aspect of it as well.
It was fun to get
to pretend for a few hours that I was living someone else’s life.
It was a challenge to portray a member of a small, proud Iowa
community in 1912 , a Puerto Rican immigrant living in
the Upper West Side of New York City in the mid 1950s, and a nun turned nanny turned wife and
stepmother in Austria on the eve of the Anschluss in 1938.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed the acting
side of being in a musical.
As a mother and a teacher, those acting skills have come in
handy.
“That blob of colors that you just created with glitter glue
is absolutely beautiful!”
“I would be happy to reschedule our parent teacher
conference - for the third time!”
It so happens that my favorite Love and Logic technique also
happens to require a little bit of acting. The purpose of an energy drain is to
give you something to use when a natural consequence just isn’t possible, or
easy to come up with. Let’s face it,
kids are pros at testing our creativity when it comes to consequences.
For example, my daughters, the oldest in particular, are
champion whiners. “I listen to big
girl voices” only gets me so far.
When I can’t take the whining any longer, I whip out an
energy drain. Here’s how it works. This first example is better suited for
parenting, but I will explain in a minute how I use it in the classroom: I slap
my hand to my forehead and announce in an exhausted voice, “Oh man, all this (fill in the blank) is draining my energy.” If the behavior has been particularly
draining, I might even flop onto the nearest couch or chair and stay there. I
even slumped to the ground once with my back to the wall, legs sprawled on the
floor. I could have won an Academy Award
that day.
I then follow this dramatic display with an explanation that
I can no longer see to their wants. You
want me to refill your sippy cup with apple juice? You want me to help you find the Frozen DVD
so you can watch it for the five thousandth time?
“This is so sad, but Mommy just doesn’t have any energy left
since I’ve been listening to you whine all day.”
The following statement is where the magic happens:
“But maybe if you do something to put my energy back, I
would be able to (fill in the blank).”
Now if your children are anything like my children, the
first time you do this, they will respond with “thanks, but no thanks”, and
move on. That is, until they realize
that you are actually serious.
“Mom, pleeeeeease, can’t you just help me find the Frozen DVD?!”
“Oh man, that does sound like fun, but like I just told you,
I don’t have any energy to help you do that.”
After pondering their options for a second, they inevitably respond with:
“Okay, fine. What do
you want me to do?”
It’s usually at this point that trumpets sound and
angels sing, because a miracle is occurring.
I then get to choose from a list of chores that need done, and
explain that maybe, just maybe, if they take the clothes in the dryer out, and
move over the clothes in the washer, that I just may have the strength to dig
out that Frozen DVD.
Of course, you can choose any chore you like, just make sure
it is something age appropriate, and a chore they aren’t likely to enjoy, and
therefore won’t want to repeat. Because
the next time they begin draining your energy, all you will have to say is
“Uh-oh, I think I feel an energy drain coming on. Looks like you might be folding everybody’s
underwear again...” And that should end
whatever behavior is draining your energy.
Now, although I say that having an energy drain requires
some dramatic acting on your part, that doesn’t mean you are telling a lie. On the contrary, when my children
are whining/tattling/talking back/etc., it truly does drain my energy. It just calls for some dramatization to
really drive home the point.
So how can this transfer to the classroom? Last year, the energy drain was a beautiful
thing for me. I started out by simply
comparing it to a battery, and that every time they were noisy, didn’t follow
directions, tattled on one another, caused arguments with one another, and so on,
that they would drain a level of my energy.
Since so many of my students play video games, lowering energy
levels was a concept they were familiar with.
I even went so far as to draw a battery on my whiteboard, with
about 8 different notches. Any time they
did something that drained my energy, I erased a notch. They knew that once my battery was emptied,
that there would be something they were going to miss out on, like, extra
recess. I came across this strategy in
early spring, so that was a no brainer.
They were itching to get outside.
The most magical thing occurred one day. The classroom sounded like a pack of parrots,
and I was moving towards the board to erase a notch, when I
heard someone shout, “You GUYS! Be
quiet! We’re going to drain her
energy!” Then, silence.
Dreams do come
true.
As I said, energy drains are a perfect go to when you just
cannot come up with an appropriate consequence.
It’s simple and effective, which is what I love about it. Other than coming up with ways for them to
restore my energy, it requires no creativity on my part. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the
best!
